Fake Chase Nearly Causes Car Crash

So I had to give Zach a ride to go pick up his car this morning. After dropping him off I sat behind him in my car and than pretended to tail him. He of chorse, not wishing to be tailed, drove around in random directions through residential neighborhoods. At one spot at a stop sign he made a left. I, perhaps in a bit of hast because of the chase, failed to see an oncoming car and pulled out ahead of it. Luckily there was no accident, but it did make my activity strike me as somewhat dangerous and stupid. This makes it extremely hard for me to tell you why I continued to tail him after this near-crash for an additional five minutes.

I Was not meant to see The Hills Have Eyes

I ordered this movie from netflix, I was very excited to see it, and than it came... and it was broken. But I'm like hey, no big deal, I'll just report it as damaged, and request a new copy. So I do, and the new copy comes about six days later, also damaged. Not to mention the fact that it appears to be damaged in the exact same way. What I think, is that they got back my broken copy of the movie I mailed back to them, and than just sent it back to me. I don't know why they would do this but what are the odds of top copies of the same DVD getting broken the same way in two consecutive trips? Anyway I've decided not to request a new copy, I'll just wait a couple of months on that. Needless to say however, it has left me a warped, bitter, useless little man. I mean, you know, more so.

Jason is a Giant Lady!

Ok, so were over at this guy DJ's house playing poker. Jason is looking at the DVD's on the wall which belong to DJ's room mate (I can't remember her name). So Jason is like, "hey can I borrow this movie" And she's like, "yeah, I guess if you really want it". And I'm like, "what movie?" As it turns out, Jason was asking to borrow the movie Now and Then. You know, the Rosie O'Donald picture. So of chorse I start making fun of him, and than the girl is like, "yeah, it's a pretty good movie, but its a bit too much of a chick-flick for me." I almost died laughing. Oh, and later when we were playing catch phrase Jason used the discription, "It's that Tom Cruise movie, you know... the one where he looks really hot."

Alternate names for the show "Cribs"

hey I stumbled across some random woman's blog that I had posted on a few months ago. She had all these alternate names for the show "cribs", some of which were pretty funny. I of chorse felt it neccessary to add my own to the list. Here's what I came up with:

"Why in the hell is Kathy Griffin this rich?"
"Looks like you can get a pretty good price for selling your soul."
"Carrot Top is decadent as well as depraved"
"Everything's coming up roses for these douchebags"
"Bathrooms you can fit your house into"
"Why can't we all stop watching this?"
"30 minutes of excuses to play the song Big Pimpin' while somebody talks about the shit they own."
"Watch as we attempt to learn why all rappers love the movie Scarface"
and finally,"MC Hammer is broke becasue of shit like this"

I guess since I stole her idea, I should probobly give you a link: Here

Onion Calander List

OK, I believe I have previously mentioned my onion calander. I had been saving some of my favorite pages since the year began. Yesterday I made a list of my top 35. I will here list the headline portions of those pages which I can list easily:

1. Defiant Milosevic Eats Big, Sloppy Sandwhich During Trial
2. Report: Economically Disadvantaged Men More Skilled At Communicating Attraction To Women
3. Haunted Tape Dispenser Unsure How to Demonstrated Hauntedness
4. 6,000 Runners Fail To Discover Cure For Breast Cncer
5. Best Years of Area Man's Life Apparently never Going to Happen
8. Buddy System Responsible for Additional Death
10. Field-Trip Mishap Fulfills Child's Wish To Be Oscar Mayer Wiener
11. Polish Rapper Under Fire For Use of the Word 'Polack'
12. Last Beer In Six-Pack Drunk With Plastic Rings Still Attached
13. Boss' Dick Not Going to Suck Itself
14. Name of Gay Bar Should Have Been Clearer
17. Anti-Spam Legislation Opposed by Powerful Penis Enlargement Lobby
18. Jackie Chan's Ancestors Shamed By Blooper Reel
19. Alcohol-Themed Bar Opens
20. Gym Teacher Secretly Hates Nerds
21. Sprite Introduces Cola-Flavored Sprite
23. Winning Dad Forces Tired Child to Finish Monopoly Game
28. Ugly Man With Huge Penis Unsure How to Get the Word Out
29. Overweight Man Revieves 'Lose Weight Fast' Spam E-Mail Featuring His Pictrue
30. Indian-American Child Having Difficulty FInding Bicycle License Plate With His Name On It
31. Girl in Park Acts Like It's No Big Deal She's Wearing a Bikini
32. Car Bomber Given Shittiest Possible Car
33. Sixth-Grader's Family Tree Fails to Hold Up to Scrutiny
35. Struggling Airline Helped By Friendly Giant


That's What I have so far. I'm sure by the end of the year a few of those at the bottom will get knowcked off the list.

I'd look good with an eye patch

So last night Jane poked me in the eye, and I sat there holding my eye. What followed was a discussion of whether I'd look better with a glass eye or an eye patch. It was established that the eye patch was the only way to go.

Nobody's Maverick

I got this Top Gun hat that says WingMan on the back. So my friend Zach started calling me Goose. He did this with the thought in mind that I would call him Mavrick. However, I refused and am now referring to him as Iceman. So basically we're both pissed off about our new nicknames. This reminds me of the conversation we had about Seinfeld. Deep down, everybody's George.

This is a Price I said I was willing to Pay

Right now Betsy and Zach are sitting in the same room as me Instant Messaging each other back and forth. Jeff was in here earlier doing the exact same thing. Therefore I am completely out of the conversation. However, as I stated earlier I have no instant messanger, I need no instant messanger. This is another piece of useless technology that seeks to bring the walls of society crashing down around us. I'm not mad at them so much as I'm dissapointed that they don't see the ways in which they are bringing about their own destruction. Soon they will instant message so much that their vocal chords will become withered and useless. And than I will laugh... on into the night.

P.S. I realize the irony in me complaining about technology over the internet so you don't need to point it out to me.

Zach showing me how to make links

OK, my friend Zach is showing me how to post links in my posts. Because Zach is a massive self-promoting tool, he is showing me by having me post a link to HIS blog. So anyway here it is: Zach

New Warren Zevon Line

It's from the song "Indifference of Heaven" The line goes:

I had a girl,
But now she's gone,
She left town,
The town burned down.

It shows how Warren Zevon can take a regular line about lost love and sadness and take it so far over the top that it becomes kind of... well, funny. Can you just imagine your girlfriend leaving you, and leaving town, and the next day the town burns down. What kind of response can you have to that, "good grief", "what next?" I have absolutely no doubt that this man was a genius.

Saw That Penguin Movie About Penguins

Saw my mom wanted to see a movie with me and there wasn't much playing. So we agreed to go see that Penguin movie. I mainly agreed to because it was narrated by Morgan Freeman and cause well... my mom was paying. It wasn't so much that the movie was bad... cause it wasn't, it's just that... it was about Penguins... the whole thing. 90 minutes is an awfull lot of Penguin. That being said for a Penguin movie it was really well made. Also I'm afraid I must admit that baby penguins are unreasonabally cute. They're like puppy-dogs in little tuxes. So if you have nothing to do for about 85 minutes and someone else is willing to pay, I'd say hell yeah, go see the Penguins.

Nerding it up with my parents this weekend

That's right I have left Winona to travel home to Sun Prairie this weekend. I should be spending most of my time watching television, using the internet, and in general being very lazy. This sounds excellent to me. My mom is asking me if I want to do anything today: movie, golf, etc. Right now I'm leaning towards no. But we'll see.

Where do you stand on the Spork issue

I got in an argument with Shannon on Thursday and almost ended up walking out of the Taco Bell. Here is Shannon's view on the Spork: "Shitty spoon, Shitty fork". I however feel this is oversimplifying things. For such food items as mashed potatos, or macaroni and cheese where you aren't sure whether a spoon or fork would be better the spork is just about as good as it gets. Furthermore I feel the combination spoon/fork is just the first step in a futuristic wave of product combination. Someday we will have bags made out of Plastic and Paper at the same time, Ketchup in mustard in the same bottle, and maybe even Radio/Bananas. And we will have the inventor of the Spork to thank for all this.

Survey

Here as an extremely long survey that Betsy was kind enough to e-mail to me. I will fill it out becuase I know you are all just dying to know more about what makes me tick... you perverts/


0.first name? Blake
1. What's your middle name? James
2. What's your last name? Stockdale
3. Do you have nicknames? My sister and her friends call me Boy, at camp I was often refered to as B-Lake, and occationally The Workhorse
4. Age? 21
5. Gender? Male
6. Birthday? February 18
7. Zodiac sign? Aquarious
8. Where do you live? Winona, MN.
9. Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend? Nope
10. If yes what's her/his name? Sara Rodriguez… wait I mean I don’t have one
11. Have you been in love before? Tough to say
12. What's your favorite color? Black, I like orange a lot too
13. Do you have any piercings or do you want any? No, I find them barbaric and pointless, if aliens saw us poking wholes in our bodies for decorations they would laugh there asses off at us
14. Which is your favorite song right now? My favorite song is Loser by Beck… but right now I’d have to say its All Night Diner by Modest Mouse, or Ocean Man by Ween, or Ain’t That Pretty At All by the Pixies, or Things to Do in Denver When Your Dead by Warren Zevon, or Fighting Texas Aggie by Robert Earl Keen… I listen to a lot of music
15. Do you have a tattoo or do you want one? I don’t know,
16. If yes, what and where? I kind of want one of a Jappanese hirogliphic that makes no sense… like potato or something. But than I get to thinking about that whole alien thing again. I’d probably get it on my shoulder I guess
17. Where do you shop most? Best Buy
18. What's your haircolor? Brown, it got a little blond this summer though
19. Eye color? I don’t know… Hazel maybe?
20. How tall are you? 5’9 ½”
24. What kind of music do you like? Warren Zevon, Modest Mouse, Beck, Bruce Springsteen, early 90’s alternative, 70’s punk, indy rock, and recently I’ve been getting into alternative country
25. Who are your best friends? Zach and Jeff
26. Who are your best "online" friends? I don’t have on-line friends because I refuse to get an instant messenger.
27. What kind of make-up do you use? I’m a dude
28. Which shampoo do you use? I’m not sure
29. Is your hair long or short? Short, but I’m considering not cutting it for a long time
30. Do you like shopping? I like shopping for things that I want to buy when I’m by myself.
31. Which sports do you do? Pretty much all of them. I’m fairly good at basketball, football, ultimate Frisbee and Golf. I also learned this summer that I’m extremely good at archery
33. What's your favorite animal? Killer Whales and Grizzly Bears… I hate bats
34. What do you do to have fun? Watch movies, hang out with my friends, blog when I get the chance
35. How many phones are at your home? I just have a cell phone
36. How many TV's are at your home? At college, I think three, at home, I think 4
37. What's your favorite food? bread
38. Do you look like a famous person? A couple of people have said I look like Mathew Brodrick, and ones that don’t know eachother so they cant just be making it up. I really don’t see it though. Someone else said that I look like the guy with the funny mustache and a beret from myth busters. I might pretend to be his son some time.
39. Do you find yourself attractive? I feel I’m a pretty regular looking guy
43. Do you sleep with lights turned on or off? Off
44. Which is your favorite TV-Show? It was Simpsons, but they have gotten pretty bad, I’d say Aqua Teen Hunger Force
45. What's your favorite movie? Lord of the Rings the Return of the King
46. Which perfume do you use? As I said before, I’m a dude47. Do you have your own phone? Yeah my cell phone
47. If yes, what's the number? I honestly don’t know, it’s a 608 area code though
49. What's the craziest thing you've ever done? Depends on what you mean by crazy. I jumped off a 40 foot cliff on to a rock a sprained my wrist when I was in the 8th grade, was that crazy or just stupid?
51. What trademark are your shoes? Currently have on Chucks. I wear Chuck Taylors because I broke my foot and didn’t see a doctor and now all other types of shoes make my right foot hurt… wait maybe that’s the stupidest thing I ever did.
52. What's your favorite drink? Soda – pepsi
53. Which words do you say most often? “You Will Die in Agony” “This is not a problem", I don’t know ask my friends whatever else I say all the time.
54. Are you serious, loud, shy or funny? Of those I would say I consider myself mostly loud and funny, I can be shy sometimes too
55. Which car would you like to have? Cadilac El’ Darado
56. What is special about your school? It’s the place I have felt most at home in a very long time.
57. Are you funny or strange? Everyone would agree I am strange, some would agree I am funny, I consider myself both
58. Who is the ugliest person you know? Interesting question… There’s this guy I see walking around campus sometimes that just kind of makes me sick to my stomach
59. Are you popular? Not really
60. What was the most embarassing moment in your life? Nothing comes to mind… My life is feld with hundreds of small embarrassments but nothing over-the-top
61. If you had 3 wishes, what would they be? 183 trillion dollars, to live for 1 million years, and the ability to read peoples minds
62. Do you want to get married? Yes
63. If yes, where? In a church I suppose
64. Do you pray? Yes, but I’d like to more often
65. Is the glass half-full or half-empty? I don’t know, what’s in it?
66. Are you right hander or lefty? Right handed
67. What's your slogan? Hmm. I’ll go with my current slogan, “I’d rather feel bad than not feel anything at all” I find it depressing but in an exciting sort of way, I also happen to believe in it entirely.
68. Would you ever cheat on somebody? I don’t think so
69. Favorite name for a girl? Mary, Katie, Jane, and maybe Lisa
70. Favorite name for a boy? Conrad, Cooper, Dylan, and Warren
71. If you could change something about yourself, what would it be? I think too much, mostly about things I wish I could stop thinking about
72. Have you ever tried to kill yourself? No, and I never will
73. What's your favorite Fast-Food place? I’m actually a pretty big fan of Long John Silvers, I think I have to say Arby’s though
74. Who do you really hate? Nobody I know… I’m tempted to say I hate a few celebrites though… but I guess I really don’t know them that well. I’ll say this… I’d be surprised if I hung out with Bonno for a week and didn’t end up hating him
75. What are the worst names? Ronald, Chad, Doris, Ralph, and Eugene
76. Do you have siblings? An older sister.. ohh and a brother-in-law now
77. If yes, how old are they and what's their name? Kelli is 24 and her husband Brian is… I wanna say 24, but he might be 25 now
78. Do you have a pool? No, but I use to and it was AWSOME
79. What was the first thing you noticed about the opposite sex? They always went to the bathroom with each other… I was suspicous
80. You are addicted to? Deffinately caffine… I like gambling an awful lot also, but I’m too cheap to get addicted to that
81. Do you like jewelry? Not especially
82. Who would you like to be? Somebody in a fairly successful band, who ended up getting married and having kids and living a normal life around the time they turned 40. Warren Zevon comes to mind but I could have done without the Mesophillioma. Johnny Cash’s life sounds pretty sweet. Also a couple of my professors seem to have pretty sweet lives.
83. Is life easier for boys or girls? Boys, but not by as much as most people think
84. Would you rather be small or tall? I’d like to be tall, but theres just something about being short… I can’t quite put my finger on it but I like it
85. Do you like to dance? If the mood strikes me
86. Do you party a lot? On occasion
87. Do you like to play other peoples tricks? I don’t understand the question, if you mean do like to play tricks on people, than yes, on occasion
88. What was the craziest trick you ever played? Nothing big. I’m stealing all of my friends silverware at the moment.
89. What's your favorite class at school? History, my best class in college was probably my Modern China class
90. Who's the funniest person? The funniest person I know to me is my dad, because we have the exact same sense of humor. Funniest celebrity probably either Chris Rock or Norm McDonald, or maybe Will Ferrell. Also one of the funniest persons I’ve ever known was Professor Yard who taught that Modern China class I just mentioned, he died though
91. What time is it now? 2:56 PM
92. Do you want to study at college/university? I’m in my colleges library right now
93. If yes, what? History and education, my education classes have been pissing me off lately thoguh
94. To which school do you go? Winona State University
95. Do you like your classmates? Yes, I acctually do a lot
96. Do you like videogames? Yeah, but not as much as a use to
97. If yes, what's your favorite? Maddan football, and starcraft
98. Do you sleep a lot? I use to, now not so much
99. What's your time? Morning or night? I love both acctually
100. Can you define Love? I’d like to say that its when you care more about someone than you do about yourself. But that deffiniton seems awfully strong. If I’m going by that one I need to go back and change my earlier answer to say I’ve never been in love. I don’t know… whatever.
101. How often do you take a shower? Once a day
102. Do you get along well with your parents? I get along with my parents extremely well. They love me, and forgive me very easily, and I try not to do anything that will make them upset, or I at least make a strong effort for them not to find out about it
103. Have you ever lied to them? Yes, but I always felt really bad
104. If yes, why? To keep them from feeling bad or thinking less of me
105. Are you rich, poor or in between? I think my parents are rich now, I’m not really though
106. How many bedrooms does your house/flat have? At school 3, at home 4
107. What do you want to become? If you mean for like a job, I’d like to be a social studies teacher
108. Did you ever fly? I did once
109. If yes, how did you like it? It was fine, I got a little nervous during take off though.
110. Do you have an "online" flirt? No, but I use to
111. Do you swear a lot? Not a ton
112. Did you ever think you were going to die? I was very worried I was going to die
113. If yes, where any way? A number of times actually, most recently on my couch, I’m a little afraid of death to tell the truth
114. Have you ever seen an alien? I thought I did but it was probably just a low flying plane
115. Are you ticklish? Not at all
116. What's your favorite flower? I don’t know, I’ll say daisies
117. How does your room look like? Very messy with a lot of books and movie posters
118. How would you describe yourself? Extrodinarilly honest, unusually happy, occasionally funny, I try to be nice but I fail at that sometimes
119. Do you believe in god? Yes I do
120. What's your religion? I’ve gone to a number of protestant churches, we go to an Evangelical free church right now and I like it
121. Do you believe in reincarnation? No, but that being said I like it as an idea
122. Do you believe in black magic? I don’t know
123. Ever tried it? No, never
124. Do you believe that one person is meant for another? No, I could be very happy with any number of people
125. Do you believe in love at the first sight? No, that’s not love
126. What color is your toothbrush? I have an orange one and a purple one
127. How often do you brush your teeth every day? Once or twice
128. Who's your favorite comic strip hero? May favorite comic book character is The Unstoppable Juggernut, but he’s not a hero he’s a villain.
129. Do you have a job? Not right now, I was a camp counselor this summer
130. Favorite fruit? I don’t really like fruit, I guess I’ll say bananas
131. Favorite vegetable? potatos
132. Favorite candy? Kit Kat maybe, or possibly reces pieces
133. What was the best day in your life? Nothing comes to mind. Again there have been hundreds of ridiculously good day, but nothing stands out
134. Why? I don’t know, that’s just the way it is
135. Are you mommy's little girl/boy? Maybe a little
136. Are you daddy's little girl/boy? Not really
137. Do you play a musical instrument? No, but I’d love to learn to play the piano, and maybe the guitar
138. Do you use deodorant? Yes
139. If yes, which? One of the ones with the word ‘sport’ in it
140. Do you have AOL ? my parents do
141. Who is the cutest girl? Do you mean cute like hot or cute like a 4-year old is cute? Either way the answer is Elizabeth Taylor
142. Who is the cutest boy? I’m gonna have to go with Elizabeth Taylor again
143. Who is the cutest famous person? I’m going to surprise you all and go with the guy who played Potsy on Happy Days
144. Do you wear nail polish right now? Now Now?... no, night right now
145. If yes, which color? I said no
146. How many rings/bracelets do you wear right now? None right now, I use to have a ring that I wore sometimes though
147.Whats your favorite toothpaste? The kind that’s orange flavored
148. Are you tired? Nope
149. Do you have any scars? One on the bottom of my right foot from stepping on a broken bottle, one on my knee that I cut on my bike, one on my stomach from having a mole removed, one on my palm from accidentlly stabbing myself with a pencil, one inside my left nostril from once again accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil, and a couple others where I don’t remember where they came from.
151. Do you like lollypops? I do indeed
152. What do you think right now? My thumb kind of hurts and I don’t know why
154. What makes you laugh? Observation humor, my friends, people doning offensive things intentionally to be offensive, puns, people pointing out stupid things other people are doing or saying, and people falling down
155. Who's your favorite teacher? It was professor Yard until he died
156. Do you have your driving licence? Yes
157. With how many pillows do you sleep? 2, one under my head one between my legs
158. What was your worst nightmare? I dreamt I had a daughter, she fell down the stairs, she was lying there, I couldn’t tell if she was alive, I went to go hold her, I tried to scream for help but nothing would come out, I started crying. That was easily the worst nightmare I’ve ever had.
159. What secret can you tell me here? Hmm, my socks are too short for these shoes.. does that count?
160. What don't you understand about the opposite sex? I understand almost nothing so lets just move on
161. What don't you understand about the same sex? I guess I just really don’t understand anything about anyone.
162. What's your favorite trademark of clothes? Possibly American Eagle to tell the truth
163. What are your favorite holidays? Christmas, hands down
164. Why? The whole family gets together, everybodys happy, everybody likes eachother… and I get prestents
165. What's your favorite commercial? Man: I love you so much. Woman: What do you love best about me? Man: Well Michalob I love you more than life its self. Woman: What did you just call me? Man: I called you… Theressa. Woman: No you didn’t you just called me Michalob, I am out of here. (Woman gets up to leave) Man: Wait, baby, wait… while your up… could you get me a michalob?
166. Which commercials do you hate? The McDonalds “Don’t touch my Chicken Selects” set of commercials
167. What did you do last summer? Had the greatest summer of my life teaching archery and basketball all day
168. Did you cry last week? No
169. Why? Why didn’t I cry?... because I don’t like to I suppose
170. Where were you born? Applington, Iowa
171. Have you ever lived somewhere else? Iowa Falls, Iowa; Ankeney, Iowa; Mechanicsburg Pennsylvania; Leesburg, Virginia; Purcellville, Virginia; Sun Prairie, Wisconsin; and Winona, Minnesota.
172. If yes, where did you like it best? Probobly Mechanicsburg, but I love it in Winona right now
173. What's your favorite Disney movie? The Jungle Book
174. Do you collect anything? I have a lot of Speed Racer Memerobillia, And Iguess I still got a couple of boxes full of basketball trading cards
175. If yes, what? I just answered that question… my appollogies
176. Whats your favorite TV channel? I don’t have TV right now. The channels I miss are Fox, the cartoon network, CNN, and the National Geographic Channel. Along with a few others.
177. What does the opposite sex lack? They are not straight-forward
178. How many CD's do you have? Probably about 50, I have a ton of songs on my computer though
179. Do you like to go to concerts? Yes, but I haven’t been to that many
180. If yes, how many have you seen? Like 7 or 8
181. Have you ever met a famous person? No, not really
182. Who was the nicest? nobody
183. What kind of clothes do you prefer? Jean shorts and T shirts
184. What kind of food don't you like at all? fruits and most vegetables
185. Do you wear glasses or contacts? I have glasses, but they are not absolutely neccessary
186. Do you prefer cotton or silk? Cotton I suppose
187. Mariah Carey or Whitney Houston? I’ll say Mariah Carey since shes attractive
188. What's your planet? Umm, earth I guess
189. What's your element? Lithium
190. Rich and unhappy or poor and happy? Poor and Happy, hands down
191. What magazines do you like? I read Entertainment Weekly on occasion
192. Coca Cola or Pepsi? I like Pepsi
193. What's your favorite season? You know I really love all of them, I’ll say spring though
194. What's your favorite day in the week? Thursdays and Saturdays are almost always a very good time. But I’m tempted to say Sunday… very relaxing
195. What's your favorite month? Hmm, September is usually pretty great. I like June a lot as well… too hot though.
196. What's your biggest talent? I’m an excellent juggler
197. Are you a good listener? Yes
198. Do you like chain letters? No, not especially
199. Are you tired from answering all those questions? No, it was a pretty good survey
200. Mailadresse? Don’t know it. I wanna say 553 something street.

I think that went pretty well, except that two of the questions are missing... I'll see what I can do about that.

Neighbors seem nice enough

We are getting to know the neighbors who live underneath us. One of them seems really cool and ended up going to wings with us last night. The other two I have barely spoken to, and can't remember there names... but they seem nice enough. Anyhow there have been talks of a cook out in the parking lot. This sounds like an excellent plan. The cookouts we do in front of out appartment on the street are fun, but theres no place to acctually cook. So we just made burgers inside and than ate them out front. This sounds like a much better system. Who knows... maybe I could even score some potato salad.

Evil Alien Conquerers... Greatest Movie Ever!

Allright that's a massive exaggeration, but the movie was in fact incredible. Allong with its rediculous premise and memorable catch phrases it also had a few genuinlly funny lines. We have been using several of the catch phrases, i.e. "You will die in agony" "This is not a problem" "The cow is an insolent bastard" etc. It's fun using lines from a movie that nobody has ever seen, it makes them more confused. I don't know how long this will last, but I think its safe to say that everyone else will get sick of it long before I do.

So much to blog and so little time

I have been unable to blog since monday afternoon, so I know must relate the events of monday tuesday and wendsday. This will be a fairly large undertaking as much has happened in these days. However, as I am done with classes for the day I am willing to take on this massive undertaking. I acctually need to go take a dump know... but I shall start realating to you the weeks events the moment I return. Hey, I can plan what I'm going to say while I'm in the John... life is sweet.

I just got a comment spam about stopping comment spam

I think my heads going to explode. It isn't out of anger. To be frank, I don't know what this feeling is. I think I'm gonna go lie down for a while.

Basically making another post so I don't look like a nerd

Hmm... I wanted to make as second post so that I don't leave my history-nerd post on the top, but I can't think of anything. So... uhh... ahhh.. GO SONICS!

Historical Arguments getting to broad

I'm reading this book called rights of Spring for my WWI class. Therefore I assume it is going to be about World War I. I am at the moment about 60 pages into the book, and the whole thing is about opera. I do not enjoy opera, and would certainly not choose to take an opera history class. *side note, I just went back and changed the spelling from Oprah to opera... that would have been a fairly halarious mistake though. Anywho... all this oprah stuff better be going somewhere quick, because I can't take much more of this. Historians should just stop trying to be clever and just write about whatever-the-hell their writing about.

New band I like: Ween

Ok, so talking to my sister and brother-in-law a while back the band Ween came up, who I had never heard of. However, Brian has like 12 Ween C.D.s or something, and said I would like them. So they got me the Best of Ween CD and its acctually really good. I only recognized one song, its from some commercial, it goes, "Ocean man, take me by the hand, let me understand... something something Ocean Man." or something like that. Anyway, its a good song, and the whole CD is good really. This continues a very impressive streek of my sister being right when she tells me I would like a band or movie.

Voldak ruse incredibally fun

For quite some time now my friend Jeff and I have batted around the idea of filling a voldka bottle with water, and downing massive amounts of it at a party in order to confuse people. Last night was our first practice of this idea. We went and got two glasses and I poured roughly six shots of water in to each of them. I made a big fuss about it, and acctually spit about half of the water out on to the ground. It was absolutely halarious. We did it again about 2 hours later. Everyone assumed we were absolutely obliterated, and became unneccesarilly concerned for our saftey. While I feel a little bad about this, I would still deem this act extremely funny.
Prediction: This will happen OFTEN.

Ordered Netflix and Internet

Looks like I should acctually have something to do now. We ordered netflix a few days ago and it should come any day now. The first movie I ordered was Evil Alien Conquerors. I think I acctually have a post about it from like June or something. I also ordered internet which I get next friday. It will be nice to have something to do in my appartment that isn't drinking or sitting around listening to Warren Zevon. Although to be fair I'll still probobly do both of those a lot.

This Is What I Believe Now

Allright, so during my WWI class today we talked about the futurist school of philosiphy/poetry. They seemed very interest, kinda cool, and extremely crazy. However, say what you will they wrote and lived with manic intensity, which I have always respected. So I came up with my own personal philosiphy, which I am currently referring to as Neo-Futurism. So anyway I should work up a manifesto eventually, but untill then here's what I've established.
The Fourteen Tenants of Neo-Futurism:
1. We agree with many of the basic tenants of futurism, but hate poetry of all kinds.
2. Our love of speed and fast-paced living will be supplemented by our love of the drug speed.
3. We endorce the movie speed, but not Keanu Reeves.
4. We drink a lot.
5. While claiming to be open-minded we reserve the right to dislike every single race, creed, and nationality.
6. We eat toast every day.
7. We will be rediculouslly smug.
8. We hate big dogs and like small dogs... but not too small.
9. We feel Lithuania is the greatest country in the world, but refuse to admit why.
10. Sean Penn is an Asshole
11. We all own a lot of guns... knives too.
12. We smoke cloved ciggarettes.
13. We either love or hate the book Don Quiote... there is no middle ground.
14. No Dames.

Caption This

Here is a photo of Willfard Brimley relaxing after a long day of being a corperate schill for the Quaker Oats conglomerate.

Don't shop for flyswatters while your angry at flies

So I'm lying on the couch trying to take a nap right. And there are not one, not two, but three flies buzzing around and landing on my face and keeping me awake. Eventually one lands in my hair and I smash it with my hand. At this point I utter one of my trademark zingers. I look at the other two flies and say, "See to your friend... he was a good fly." My zingers are much more somber than funny or catchy... although it is exceedingly difficult to come up with a somber pun. So anyway the flies are still bothering me so I decide to go to wallmart and buy a fly swatter and I'm so angry I end up buying four of them. I guess its the whole "don't shop for groceries while your hungry" thing.
I guess I should really go buy a plunger while I still don't need one. If I wait to buy one till after my house is filling up with shit I'll probobly end up buying like 11 of them.

"Friends Helping Friends My Ass"

Allright, so my friend and I are shopping in Hy-Vee and this guy comes up to us and starts talking to us. He yammers on and than says something about us making a little extra money on the side. Zach and I are of chorse intrigued... seeing as how we like money and all. We begin to run down the possibilities of what this guy wants us for.
1. Telamarketing
2. Pyramid scheme
3. Male Prostitution

My gut told me Pyramid scheme... and although Jeff assured us that it was not a pyrimid scheme because they were using the SEC approved 6-4-2 sales model... IT WAS CLEARLY A PYRAMID SCHEME!
So we decided to treat our time there less as a business possibillity and more as a chance to watch some halarious d-bags in action.
My favorite point in the evening is when the head guy Jeff asks my friend Zach, "What could you do with an extra 2,700 dollars a month?" and Zach replies, "uhh, I could probobly drink more."

Going to have to get password do-hicky

So it looks like I'm gonna need one of those password doo-hickys to get people to stop spam posting on my site. At first I didn't mind cause it was nice that some of my posts looked to have 3-4 comments. But on further thought its annoying to sit down and think that I'm gonna get to read several posts when in fact its just some jerk that wants me to read about birds.