Onion Calander List

OK, I believe I have previously mentioned my onion calander. I had been saving some of my favorite pages since the year began. Yesterday I made a list of my top 35. I will here list the headline portions of those pages which I can list easily:

1. Defiant Milosevic Eats Big, Sloppy Sandwhich During Trial
2. Report: Economically Disadvantaged Men More Skilled At Communicating Attraction To Women
3. Haunted Tape Dispenser Unsure How to Demonstrated Hauntedness
4. 6,000 Runners Fail To Discover Cure For Breast Cncer
5. Best Years of Area Man's Life Apparently never Going to Happen
8. Buddy System Responsible for Additional Death
10. Field-Trip Mishap Fulfills Child's Wish To Be Oscar Mayer Wiener
11. Polish Rapper Under Fire For Use of the Word 'Polack'
12. Last Beer In Six-Pack Drunk With Plastic Rings Still Attached
13. Boss' Dick Not Going to Suck Itself
14. Name of Gay Bar Should Have Been Clearer
17. Anti-Spam Legislation Opposed by Powerful Penis Enlargement Lobby
18. Jackie Chan's Ancestors Shamed By Blooper Reel
19. Alcohol-Themed Bar Opens
20. Gym Teacher Secretly Hates Nerds
21. Sprite Introduces Cola-Flavored Sprite
23. Winning Dad Forces Tired Child to Finish Monopoly Game
28. Ugly Man With Huge Penis Unsure How to Get the Word Out
29. Overweight Man Revieves 'Lose Weight Fast' Spam E-Mail Featuring His Pictrue
30. Indian-American Child Having Difficulty FInding Bicycle License Plate With His Name On It
31. Girl in Park Acts Like It's No Big Deal She's Wearing a Bikini
32. Car Bomber Given Shittiest Possible Car
33. Sixth-Grader's Family Tree Fails to Hold Up to Scrutiny
35. Struggling Airline Helped By Friendly Giant


That's What I have so far. I'm sure by the end of the year a few of those at the bottom will get knowcked off the list.