Get to Know your Blake Stockdales
I feel like expressing myself, but the idea of concocting a full fleged paragraph form blog post sounds insermountabally difficult. Thus I am going to spew thoughts and opinions at you in list form. Many of my loyal readers (of which their are none). May recognize a similarity between this segment and my old lists of the tennants of short-lived personal philosophy Neo-Futurims. However, I was forced to more-or-less abandon this philosophy because I now disagree with many of its tennants which I created (primarily my endorsment of methanphedimenes) and the fact that the name of neo-futurism has been co-opted by those bastards from "To Much Light Makes The Baby Go Blind". Handing me a nametag with the word coatrack on it does not make you a genius or a broadway star!
Anywho, here they are...
1. The Simpsons Movie should have been made in 1994 and written by Conan O'Brian
2. Someone should explain to me how to watch movies on-line on netflix.com, I can't possibly be bothered to figure it out on my own
3. All that is new age is wrong
4. Hardcore Holly needs to revert back to the gimmick in which he claims to weigh well over 400 pounds, upon doing so he should be moved to the top of the card.
5. C.S. Lewis should return from the grave and right an 8th cronicle of Narnia book in which I go to Narnia and am somehow transformed into some sort of bizzare talking water rat thats saves the day with quick thinking and handy sword-work
6. Shannon should be commended for hanging up our ornatly framed protrait of an unknown minor leauge hockey player
7. Barbra Walters should host a very special episode of the view where she announces that she has been diagnosed with terminal chick cancer
8. People should start listening to my rants instead of just nodding and saying "whatever you say Blae"
9. Sean Penn is still an asshole
10. The same goes for you Bonno
11. I need to stop having so much regular contact with smug/self-important people
12. I miss my nephew Charlie
13. My appartment gets messy entirely too quickly
14. I really don't care if Michael Vick likes dog fighting, I know I'm supposed to care, I don't
15. I also really don't care if peole enjoy bullfighting, cockfighting, bearbeating, or any other form of beast-on-beast combat
16. my foot hurts
17. Sun Chips are currently 2 for $3.50 at your local target
18. "She reminds me of my mom... but like... in a bad way." Is one of the best insults I have heard in quite some time.
19. I really should go see Superbad
20. Don't Mess with Texas
21. I would like to own the complete series of Andy Richter Controls the Universe on DVD, this need not only be a dream
22. I think I legitamitly like Cactus Jack's entrance music
23. I need to find a kareoke machine that will allow me to sing the theme song from Americas Funniest Home Videos
24. All children who are under 15 years old are now ... 15 years old
25. There are no stupid questions, only stupid people, who ask questions
26. Democracy is in the streets
27. In comparing my recent obsession with the WWF I can't tell if it is more or less nerdy and or useless than more former obsession with X-Men comics
28. I'm done now
Anywho, here they are...
1. The Simpsons Movie should have been made in 1994 and written by Conan O'Brian
2. Someone should explain to me how to watch movies on-line on netflix.com, I can't possibly be bothered to figure it out on my own
3. All that is new age is wrong
4. Hardcore Holly needs to revert back to the gimmick in which he claims to weigh well over 400 pounds, upon doing so he should be moved to the top of the card.
5. C.S. Lewis should return from the grave and right an 8th cronicle of Narnia book in which I go to Narnia and am somehow transformed into some sort of bizzare talking water rat thats saves the day with quick thinking and handy sword-work
6. Shannon should be commended for hanging up our ornatly framed protrait of an unknown minor leauge hockey player
7. Barbra Walters should host a very special episode of the view where she announces that she has been diagnosed with terminal chick cancer
8. People should start listening to my rants instead of just nodding and saying "whatever you say Blae"
9. Sean Penn is still an asshole
10. The same goes for you Bonno
11. I need to stop having so much regular contact with smug/self-important people
12. I miss my nephew Charlie
13. My appartment gets messy entirely too quickly
14. I really don't care if Michael Vick likes dog fighting, I know I'm supposed to care, I don't
15. I also really don't care if peole enjoy bullfighting, cockfighting, bearbeating, or any other form of beast-on-beast combat
16. my foot hurts
17. Sun Chips are currently 2 for $3.50 at your local target
18. "She reminds me of my mom... but like... in a bad way." Is one of the best insults I have heard in quite some time.
19. I really should go see Superbad
20. Don't Mess with Texas
21. I would like to own the complete series of Andy Richter Controls the Universe on DVD, this need not only be a dream
22. I think I legitamitly like Cactus Jack's entrance music
23. I need to find a kareoke machine that will allow me to sing the theme song from Americas Funniest Home Videos
24. All children who are under 15 years old are now ... 15 years old
25. There are no stupid questions, only stupid people, who ask questions
26. Democracy is in the streets
27. In comparing my recent obsession with the WWF I can't tell if it is more or less nerdy and or useless than more former obsession with X-Men comics
28. I'm done now
posted by Blake Stockdale at 9:04 PM
1 Comments:
Disavowing neo-futurism due to its endorsement of methamphetemines may seem like the right choice now, Mr. I have a job and an apartment and a nephew. But when the winds of nihilistic self-destruction blow again, you'll regret your shallow rejection of bathtub crank and the implicit endorsement of the bourgeois attitudes that have gotten us only a TGI Friday's on every corner rather than the AK-47's we so truly desire in the marrow of our bones.
Post a Comment
<< Home