Kazaam: 10/10

Recently some pranksters and bad apples got into my netflix account and changed my queue to make Kazaam nuber one. I assume they did this becuase they felt this would be a BAD movie. Let me assure you they were quite mistaken. Kazaam was wonderful. I laughed, I cried, I enjoyed myself thourouly. Shaq should have won an oscar. Although it was meant as a prank, it was probobally one of the best things that ever happened to me.

So you see, I actually liked that stupid movie you made me get! So take that you stupid jerks!

Got a Job Finally

I'm working at Kwik Trip now. I've only been there 2 days. I like it allright so far. It'll still be a couple of weeks before I'm tired of working there. So anyway good news huh?

Top 1,000 Songs (701-800)

701. Breakthrough, Modest Mouse
702. American Music, Violent Femmes
703. Rockafeller Skank, Fatboy Slim
- I am a fan of this song, but a bigger fan of my "Funk Soul Brother" T-Shirt

704. Miss America, David Byrne
705. Can’t Hardly Wait, The Replacements
706. The Hockey Song, The Zambonies
707. Hash Pipe, Wheezer
708. What’s So Funny, Elvis Costello
709. Puttin’ On the Ritz, Taco
710. Little Honda, Yo La Tango
711. Surf City, Jan and Dean
712. Your Generation, Generation X
713. Kill You, Eminem
714. Jeannie Needs a Shooter, Warren Zevon
715. In the Year 2525, Zyger and Evans
716. Teenage Dirtbag, Whetus
717. Train in Vain, The Clash
718. King of the Road, The Proclaimers
- The Proclaimers should really do more covers, they just sound awsome

719. Bad Habbit, Offspring
720. I’ll Melt With You, Modern English
721. Wild Thing, Ton Loc
722. Staring at the Sun, Offspring
723. Stuck, Limp Bizkit
724. Walk Among Us, The Misfits
725. Bad Luck Streak in Dancing School, Warren Zevon
726. Pulp Fiction Song, TV/Movie Themes
727. The Promised Land, Dave Edmunds
728. Stand By Me, The Clash
729. Let the Good Times Roll, The Cars
- A truly fantastic drinking song

730. Slice of Heaven, Dynamite Hack
731. Particle man, They Might Be Giants
732. Matador, The Starlight Mints
733. You’re the Good Things, Modest Mouse
734. Do You Remember Rock and Roll Radio, Ramones
735. Not Today, Jump Little Children
736. Oh My God, Kaiser Chiefs
- This song is only pretty good, but it got extra points becaue it was absolutely amazing live

737. Rocky Top, Nitty Gritty Dirt Band
738. Misunderstood, Wilco
- In the live version of this song on on Kicking Television they repeat the word "Nothing" 24 times... it's surprisingly awsome

739. As Wicked, Rancid
740. I Drink Alone, George Thuroughgood
741. Have You Ever Seen Rain, Rancid
742. Bycicle Race, Queen
743. Trailer Trash, Modest Mouse
744. I Can Remember, Korn
745. Daily City Train, Rancid
746. Train Under Water, Bright Eyes
747. Hard to Handle, The Greatful Dead
- Pretty good dead song, sung by Pigpen, not Jerry Garcia

748. Christ for President, Wilco
749. Santaria, Sublime
750. Super Troopers Song, Techno
751. The Union Foreverm The White Stripes
752. Hypnotize, The White Stripes
753. Now You Come Back, Steve Forbert
754. Move On Over, George Thurougood
755. Fuck It, Eamon
756. Let My Love Open the Door, Pete Townsand
757. Down With Disease, Phish
- I don't really like Phish, but this is a genuinely good song

758. I Want it All, Queen
759. Ruby Soho, Rancid
760. Amish paradise, Weird Al Yankovich
761. Dancing With Myself, Billy Idol
762. If You Don’t Leave Me I’ll Find Smomebody Who Will, Warren Zevon
763. Zoot Suit Riot, Cherry Poppin Dadies
764. Where the Hell is Bill, Camper Van Beethoven
765. One Way or Another, Blondie
766. Devils Haircut, Beck
767. Paperback Writer, The Beatles
- One of my top 5 songs from Jr. High

768. Girl, Beck
769. I Love Rock and Roll, Joan Jett
770. Freebird, Lynyrd Skynyrd
771. Hey Jude, The Beatles
772. Walking Cane, Robert Earl Keen
773. Push It, Static X
774. Bullet with Butterfly Wings, Smashing Pumpkins
I use to think this song was about the Antichrist, than I found out it was about Billy Corgans carear... go figure

775. Seasons in the Sun, Terry Jacks
776. I’m Waiting For the Man, Velvet Underground
777. We Only Come Out at Night, Smashing Pumpkins
778. Night of the Sun, Modest Mouse
779. Grip, The Straglers
780. Roll the Dice, Lunatic Calm
- One of only 4 or 5 Techno songs to make the list

781. Adidas, Korn
782. Sargent Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, The Beatles
783. Here it Comes, Modest Mouse
784. Mr, Bright Side, The Killers
785. Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, The Beatles
786. Reason to Believe, Bruce Springsteen
787. Suzane, Leonard Cohen
788. I Don’t Know What Your Talking About, Husker Du
789. Magic Carpet Ride, Steppenwolfe
790. Monster Mash, Bobby “Boris” Pickette
791. TNT, AC/DC
- I think this would be a pretty good theme song if I ever become a professional wresteler

792. Because I Got High, Aftoman
793. Could You Be the One, Husker Du
794. Popular, NandaSurf
795. Underwater Moonlight, Softboys
796. Do Right, Jimmy’s Chicken Shack
797. I Just Can’t Get Enough, De Pesche Mode
798. Video Killed the Radio Star, Presidents of the United States of America
- First heard them play this live on MTV, they were really very good.
799. 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover, Paul Simon
800. Mother, Danzig
Discovered through the magic of the radio stations in the game GrandTheftAuto: San Andreas

Post 300: State of the Blog Adress

It is my new policy that every 50 posts I will have a state of the blog adress to tell you of the state of my blog, and alert you to coming events in the forum of blogdom.

Point the First
Less than I week ago my blog experienced its most popular day ever. Never, since I had gotton a counter had I had more than 30-40 hits on my blog in a period of 24 hours. Upon my posting of "top 100 bands" I recieved 280 hits in about 10 hours. My assumpsion is that these were all people who typed in "top 100 bands" in google, than ran a search and found my blog. Due to this fact, I will now be posting every single post I make with the words "top 100 bands"

Point the Second
You can expect list of my top 1,000 songs to continute to dominate this blog for the next couple of weeks.

Point the Third
Beyond this list I will begin posting some information in regaurds to my new job I recently aquired at kwik trip, and a planned family vacation.

Point the Fourth
Although my movie reviews have been few and far between in recent months, I now have a bigger backlog to discuss, and can begin to review them more regularlly, this will be aided by the fact that we are in the summer movie season, and I'm running out of TV shows that I want to netflix.

Point the Fifth
Sean Penn is an asshole.

Point the Sixth
I would like to bring back the Stockdale 25. However, I am doing dramatically less listening than I have in times past, and will thus make the Stockdale 25 a weekly occurance.

Point the Seventh
I have to go to the bathroom, so this will be my last point.

Thank you, and may freedom ring on this and all other blogs in United States of Blogdom.

Top 1,000 songs (801 - 900)

Well as promised I'm back with more songs. Here is my second installment.
Oh, and as an added bonus I'm going to leave comments by some of these songs. I might go back and do this for the last hundred if I think of it.

801. The Only Gay Eskimo, Tenacious D
-At least everything says its by Tenacious D, but it doesn't sound like them very much

802. Watching the Wheels, John Lennon
803. If You Wanna Be Happy, Jimmy Soul
804. Italian Leather Sofa, Cake
-Which you may recognize as the theme song to "Mission Hill"

805. You Oughtta Know, Alinis Morresette
- Although its very low on the list I think it's actually one of my top ten songs by a female singer (sorry ladies)

806. Tin Man, America
807. When I Come Around, Greenday
808. Crazy little Ting, Queen
809. Good Old Boys, Waylon Jennings
- Theme song to Duke's of Hazzard

810. Romeo’s Tune, Steve Forbert
811. One Big Stud, The Blasters
- Great band I just found out about, part of the 80's Rockabilly revival

812. Hit the Switch, Bright Eyes
813. I Saw her Standing There, The Beatles
814. Man Made of Co2, Man… or Astroman?
-"Well we know water won't effect him but let's see how he likes this dose of... CARBON DIOXIDE!!!"

815. Call the Breeze, Lynyrd Skynyrd
816. Freak on a Leash, Korn
- I believe Korn is the only band with three songs in the top 1,000 that didn't make the top 100 bands

817. This DJ, Warren G
818. Toxicity, System of Down
819. Stealing Peoples Mail, Dead Kennedys
820. Jump Jive and Wail, Brian Setzer Orchestra
821. Turbulance, Warren Zevon
822. I Wanna Be Sedated, Offspring
823. We Came to Rock the Party, P.O.D.
824. I Am the Bullgod, Kid Rock
-"Break it off let's tie one on, I gotta get set to go and cut the lawn. So I grab my walkman but before I cut, I go behind the garage, and fire it up."

825. The Next Big Thing, MXPX
826. No Brakes, Offspring
827. America Is, Violent Femmes
828. Keep Yourself Alive, Queen
829. Casey Jones, The Greatful Dead
830. Are You Gonna be My Girl, Jet
831. I Won’t Back Down, Tom Petty
832. What I Got, Sublime
833. Jaded, Greenday
834. Let the Bodies Hit the Floor, Drowning Pool
835. Rainy Day Women Number 13 and 47, Bob Dylan
- You know, "Everybody must get stoned"

836. Hip to Be Square, Huey Lewis
- Admitadly this proboblly wouldn't have made the top 1,000 without that scene in American Psycho

837. Deadbeats, Bouncing Souls
838. The Wish, Bruce Springsteen
839. Give Peace a Chance, John Lennon
840. You Don’t Care Nothing, Rancid
841. Rudie Can’t Fail, The Clash
842. Charlamagne in Sweatpants, The Hold Steady
843. Junkie man, Rancid
844. Roll On, The Living End
845. Fat Bottomed Girls, Queen
846. Beat on the Brat, Ramones
-Every fledgling punk band should learn to do a cover of this song... simple, dumb, fun, addictive"

847. Gulf Coast Leauge, Aden
848. County Fair, Bruce Springsteen
-My dad claims I can't appreciate this song because I have never been to a county fair, but I've been to a town fair... that's probobly just as good right?

849. One Vision, Queen
850. Cotton Eyed Joe, Kentucky Head Hunters
851. Headlong, Queen
852. I’m in the Mood to Move, Ween
853. The KKK Took My Baby Away, Ramones
854. Lose Youself, Eminem
855. We Like Bananas, Soft Boys
-Probobly the strangest song on this list. The song is based around the lyric, "We like bananas because they have no bones"

856. Do You Wanna Dance, Ramones
857. Sumarine #3, The Starlight Mints
858. Blue, Eifel 55
859. Unvelievable, EFM
860. Blame it On the Tetons, Modest Mouse
861. Freak of the Week, Marvolous 3
862. War on War, Wilco
863. Banging Camp, Hold Steady
864. The House Jack Keoruek Built, The Go Betweens
865. My Life, Billy Joel
866. White Wedding, Billy Idol
- Scratch that comment on korn, Billy Idol has three songs and didn't make it either

867. Run Run Run, Velvet Underground
868. Fucking With My Head, Beck
869. Long Distance Drunk, Modest Mouse
-"I had a drink the other day, opinions were like kittens I was giving them away"

870. Living in Chaos, Offspring
871. All Day and All of the Night, The Kinks
872. Que Onda Guero, Beck
873. The Way I Am, Eminem
874. Olympia Wa., No FX
875. American Pie, Don McClain
876. Sunshine of Your Love, Eric Clapton
877. Scatman, Scatman John
878. Get Off of My Cloud, Rolling Stones
879. Buddy Holly, Wheezer
880. Stroker Ace, Ween
- My roommate Jeff (who likes metal) was surprised to learn this was by Ween, and commented that, "this actually sounds like something I would listen to"

881. The Devil Went Down to Georgia, Charlie Danials Band
882. Nugget, Cake
883. Rappers Delight, Sugar Hill Gang
-How can you not like a rap song with a verse about being forced to eat bad food at a friend house?

884. It’s True That We Love One Another, The White Stripes
885. Ill am Eye, Soul Junk
886. Radio Ga Ga, Queen
887. Brown Eyed Girl, The Rolling Stones
888. Been Caught Stealing, Jane’s Addiction
889. Working for the Weekend, Loverboy
890. Holloween, The Misfits
891. I’m Waiting For the Man (Live), David Bowie
892. The Bad Touch, Bloodhound Gang
893. Let’s Go Smoke Some Pot, Blink 182
894. Life’ll Kill You, Warren Zevon
895. Down on the Corner, CCR
896. I Wanna Be Sedated, Vince Neal
- This is the third version of this song to make the list

897. Thirteen, Big Star
898. Now Mary, White Stripes
899. Come Together, The Beatles
900. Girls and Boys, Blur
- My second favorite song about transvestites behind only, "Walk on the Wildside"

Top 1,000 Songs

I have decided to relate to you all of my top 1,000 songs. However, as I feel no one would want to look at a list of 1,000 songs I will give you them in installments of 100. I will give you 100 songs (starting with 901-1,000) every other day or so, untill you have seen them all. So anyway, here we go:


901. Touch of Grey, Greatful Dead
902. Gravity Rides Everything, Modest Mouse
903. Substitute, The Who
904. Hot in Here, Nelly
905. Low Rider, War
- Actually one of my top 5 all time songs back in Jr. High

906. Teen90Nine, Limp Bizkit
907. Burning Down the House, Talking Heads
908. Turning Japanese, The Vapors
-Many people still don't believe me when I tell them the song is about masterbation... trust me, it is.

909. Drunk Divorced Flusse, Mojo Nixon
910. Man on the Moon, REM
911. Suck My Kiss, Red Hot Chilly Peppers
912. Come On Eilene, Dixie’s Midnight Runners
913. Don’t Want to Know, Husker Du
914. I Guess I Planted, Billy Bragg
915. Rasberry Beret, Warren Zevon and Hindu Love Gods
916. Rental Car, Beck
917. Magic Bus, The Who
918. I Hate the TV, Violent Femmes
919. The Message, Grand Master Flash
920. Crazy as a Loon, John Prine
921. Lula, Bright Eyes
922. You Can Call Me Al, Paul Simon
- I love the verses in this song and dislike the chorus, making it the opposite of every song by The Police

923. Alive, P.O.D.
924. Hit That, Offspring
925. Interstate, Modest Mouse
926. Ever Fallen in Love, Buzzcocks
927. Paul Ravere, Beastie Boys
- "I said you can come with me we'll make a run for the border, the sheriff's after me for what I did to his daughter. I did it like this, I did it like that, I did it with a whiffle ball bat."

928. The Hurricane, Bob Dylan
929. Trancendental Blues, Steve Earle
930. I am a Rock, Simon and Garfunkel
931. Rock and Roll Part 2, Gary Glitter
932. Thunder Road, Bruce Springsteen
933. Dream On, Aerosmoth
934. The Weight, The Band
935. You Got Another Thing Coming, Judas Priest
936. Truckin’, Greatful Dead
937. Basketcase, Greenday
938. El Camino, Ween
939. It’ll Be a Long Time, Offspring
940. Mighty Mouse, TV Themes
-Best of chorse as lip synched by Andy Kauffman

941. Born in the USA, Bruce Springsteen
942. Frank and Jesse James, Warren Zevon
943. Ob La Di Ob la Da, The Beatles
944. Walk This Way, Aerosmith
945. Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy, Queen
946. A Horse with No Name, America
- Is it just me or are there a ton of great songs about heroin?

947. Lonely Little Thrift Store, Jonathan Richman
948. I Wish, Skee Lo
949. Another One Rides the Bus, Weird Al Yankovich
950. The City of New Orleans, Johnny Cash
951. The Bars on Fire, The Bottle Rockets
952. Police Truck, Whitecaps
953. The Thong Song, Sysco
- Although to tell you the truth I prefer the Robert Gulet version

954. Black Tamborine, Beck
955. Killer Parties, The Hold Steady
956. Saturday Night, Kaiser Chiefs
957. Bawitaba, Kid Rock
958. Summer in the City, The Loving Poonfull
959. Attitude, The Misfits
960. Hell Yes, Beck
961. I Got One For You, Kid Rock
962. Whole Lotta Love, Led Zeplin
963. I Won’t Back Down, Johnny Cash
964. Instant Karma, John Lennon
965. Happy Birthday, Ramones
966. Monkey Wash Donkey Rinse, Warren Zevon
967. The New Pollution, Beck
968. Out of Gas, Modest Mouse
969. The Kids are All Right, The Who
970. Hesitating Beauty, Wilco
971. Multitude of Casualties, The Hold Steady
972. Lord Only Knows, Beck
973. Aw Heck, John Prine
974. California Uber Alles, Dead Kennedys
975. Fistful of Rain, Warren Zevon
- "You can dream the American Dream, but you sleep with the lights on and wake up with a scream"

976. Life Like Weeds, Modest Mouse
977. Promises, Eve 6
978. On the Streets of This Town, Steve Forbert
979. Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground, White Stripes
980. Crimpson and Clover, Velvet Underground
981. Sentimental Hygiene, Warren Zevon
982. You Might Think, The Cars
983. California Stars, Wilco
984. Kicking Television, Wilco
985. Play That Funky Music, Wild Cherry
986. Mexican Radio, Wall of Voodoo
987. Heart of Rock n’ Roll, Huey Lewis
988. Dog Paddel, Modest Mouse
989. Now I Wanna Be a Dog, Uncle Tupelo
990. Drain You, Nirvana
991. Sutck Inside of Mobile with the Memphis Blues Again, Bob Dylan
992. Shine, Collective Soul
993. Viva Las Vegas, Dead Kennedys
994. Runaround, Blues Traveler
995. We are Nowhere and It’s Now, Bright Eyes
996. Sweet Home Alabama, Lynyrd Skynyrd
- This is one of those rare songs that I get the feeling absolutely everyone should like no matter what.

997. Nookie, Limp Bizkit
998. Mr. Wendel, Arrested Development
999. Johnny Got Suspended, The Zambonies
1000. Blue Monday, Orgy
- Boy that was a close one, I don't know what I would have done if Orgy hadn't made the list.
(That last one was sarcastic, but seriously that is a pretty decent song)

My Resume`

Okay, I just noticed that after I wrote this last post my blog has gotton several hundred hits today, instead of its usual total of 3-7 hits per day.
So, because I am currently unemployed and looking for work I thought I would give a quick synopsis of the abilaties I have and can bring to a company, just in case anyone is looking to hire me.

I have the following abilaties:
-Making excessively long lists
- eating sandwhiches
- sleeping
- watching sports
- going to the movies
- I can profecientlly cook the following items: tacos, spegehtti, grilled cheese... yeah that's it
- I golf (poorly)
- I'm willing to do light typing
- correcting people when they quote the Simpsons (I know, it makes me hate me too)
- pretending I know what I'm talking about
- I know how to read
- a basic knowledge of the human anatomy
- I'm very punctual assuming I never have to be anywhere before noon
- Did I mention eating sandwhiches?
- Plus I own my own table saw
- okay, I don't. But if I got a job and had an income I would LOVE to buy a table saw. So if
you have a job that needs a table saw a couple of months down the line... that would be for me.


Anyway, that pretty much sums up my abilaties. If you have a job for me please leave a comment.

Top 100 Bands

Here are my top 100 bands/artists of all time, along with the number of points they aquired. For an explanation of how the points work please look at the previous post.



1. Warren Zevon (24,900)
2. Modest Mouse (19,995)
3. Beck (15,071)
4. Violent Femmes (12,232)
5. Bruce Springsteen (11,329)
6. John Prine (11,053)
7. Johnny Cash (10,027)
8. Offspring (8,241)
9. Rancid (8,080)
10. The Beatles (7,657)
11. Ween (6,995)
12. Rage Against the Machine (6,666)
13. Queen (6,343)
14. Ramones (6,060)
15. Rolling Stones (5,899)
16. Nirvana (5,732)
17. Bouncing Souls (5,168)
18. Cake (5,306)
19. Robert Earl Keen (4,824)
20. Beastie Boys (4,783)
21. Husker Du (4,758)
22. Mojo Nixon (4,339)
23. Steve Earle (4,259)
24. White Stripes (4,011)
25. Velvet Underground (3,989)
26. The Hold Steady (3,969)
27. Greenday (3,958)
28. The Magnetic Fields (3,911)
29. Dead Kennedys (3,880)
30. The Misfits (3,876)
31. Wilco (3,875)
32. Dynamite Hack (3,546)
33. Bob Dylan (3,516)
34. Billy Joel (3,426)
35. Bright Eyes (3,419)
36. Man… or Astroman? (3,249)
37. Steve Forbert (3,199)
38. The Zambonies (2,682)
39. The Clash (2,647)
40. They Might Be Giants (2,630)
41. Dave Edmunds (2,622)
42. Camper Van Beethoven (2,606)
43. Jump Little Children (2,599)
44. George Thurougood (2,537)
45. The Buzzcocks (2,527)
46. The Damned (2,525)
47. Eminem (2,448)
48. Billy Bragg (2,415)
49. Andrew WK (2,401)
50. The Who (2,392)
51. Sweet (2,338)
52. Generation X (2,246)
53. Tom Petty (2,207)
54. Bloodhound Gang (2,159)
55. Stiff Little Fingers (2,133)
56. Tenacious D (1,870)
57. Kaiser Chiefs (1,855)
58. Electric Six (1,848)
59. Paul Simon (1,825)
60. Grateful Dead (1,809)
61. Drivin’ N’ Cryin’ (1,718)
62. Blink 182 (1,703)
63. Credence Clearwater Revival (1,699)
64. The Strokes (1,697)
65. Joe Jackson (1,691)
66. Presidents of the United States of America (1,654)
67. Kid Rock (1,644)
68. Sublime (1,630)
69. Limp Bizkit (1,616)
70. The Replacements (1,593)
71. Guster (1,569)
72. Tom Jones (1,562)
73. Randy Newman (1,506)
74. Uncle Tupelo (1,495)
75. Pearl Jam (1,440)
76. Jim Croche (1,438)
77. Ludacris (1,427)
78. Gordon Light foot (1,425)
79. Dire Straits (1,397)
80. Cypriss Hill (1,396)
81. REM (1,354)
82. Iggy Pop (1,311)
83. Jonathan Richman (1,294)
84. Neil young (1,286)
85. Wheezer (1,279)
86. Pavement (1,221)
87. Jimmy’s Chicken Shack (1,166)
88. Yo La Tango (1,112)
89. Run DMC (1,111)
90. Rush (1,108)
91. Lynyrd Skynyrd (1,073)
92. The Go Betweens (1,065)
93. Nitty Gritty Dirt Band (1,030)
94. Joan Jett (1,016)
95. P.O.D. (1,016)
96. Red Hot Chilly Peppers (1,008)
97. Franz Ferdinand (992)
98. The DethHolz (983)
99. Jay Z (973)
100. Apples in Stereo (968)

I Finished It

The List is Done. Not just part of the list... the whole thing. I have ranked every song on my computer, from number 1 to number 1,320. I have also used this list to create a list of my top 100 artists of all time. I chose to use the system of giving 1,000 points for the number one song 999 points for the number 2 song, 998 points for the numbe 3 song, all the way down the line to 1 point for song number 1,000.

A am unsure how much of the song list I will post here, but I will give you my top 100 bands/artists along with their points in the next post.

Movie Review/Rankings

Well, it's been quite awhile since I've reviewed any movies. So long in fact that the movies I'm about to review are movies I watched about 3 months ago. However, I do not see this as a problem since I feel this gives me a chance to gain perspective on them. There isn't anything great here, but I am finally getting a chance to rank that excellent streak of three 7/10 movies... a rare occurance. Anyway, here they are:

The Aristocrats, 2005:
7/10, 18th best movie of 2005, 136th best of the 2000's, 429th all time
This movie was easily the funniest documentary I've ever seen. Granted this isn't saying much, but the movie was genuinely very funny and entertaining. Basically its 100 or so comics all discussing this one joke called The Aristocrats. Heres how it goes:

"A couple walk into a talent agent office saying they have an act. The talent agent asks, 'what's your act?' they say their act is that they (insert offensive act i.e. shit in eachothers mouths, have sex with their children, rape dead boddies, etc.) The talent agent asks, 'what do you call this act?' they reply, 'the aristocrats'."

The joke can be told any number of ways, but the main idea is simply to be as offensive as you possibilly can. Now this movie isn't for everyone. In fact let me give you a little test. Try to think of the most horrible/offensive thing you can think of someone saying. If you wouldn't see I movie where someone says this, than don't see the Aristocrats, because odds are someone said whatever you just thought of. I however loved it. Of chorse after watching it Zach and I attempted our own aristocrats joke. I remember very little of it, but I know it involved me having sex with and than harpooning a large whale-like woman, and Zach playing some sort of ring toss game with parts of his recently murdered grandmother's body. Anyway, like I said it was funny.


Good Night, and Good Luck, 2005
7/10, 16th best of 2005, 127th best of the 2000's, 421st all time
An excellent movie I enjoyed a lot. This was not the most exciting material to work with, but the movie did a great job in keeping me from getting bored. Also what'shisname who played Edward R. Murrow did an amazing job. The one problem I saw with this movie is that it sort of felt like it was always building up to a huge climax that never really comes. Thus just sort of a few small climaxes, there was no single big huge event, which is what I was expecting. But its still a great movie with a good message. When people start to get scared to say their opinion about the government we enter a dangerous time. Joe McCarthy was a political bully, and a bully is just gonna throw his weight around untill somebody stands up to him. I think you'd have to be blind not to know that we have some bullies in the government right now, and I guess were all just waiting for someone to stand up to them.


Inside Man, 2006
7/10, 3rd best of 2006, 143rd best of the 2000's, 436th all time
That third best is misleading because this was the third movie of 2006 I'd seen. However, last is also misleading because all three were very good movies.
Inside Man was directed by Spike Lee. Prior to seeing Inside Man let me give you a list of all the Spike Lee movies I've ever enjoyed watching: 1. Malcolm X 2. hmmm... ummmm... nevermind. So I didn't really have that high of expectations. However, I have to admit that this movie is extremely well made. It's evident from the beginning of the movie. In the first 5 minutes of the movie the camera shot changes every five seconds. Normally this would just annoy me, but the editor managed to do this without wasting a single one of those five second shots, and with great accompanying music it was acctually one of my favorite opening sequences ever. While the camera work is great throughout what really makes this movie stand out are the great performances by the two leads. Clive Owen is great as a "not your everyday bankrobber" and Washington is wonderful, somehow giving an incredibally fresh performance in spite of the fact that he's playing a cop for what seams like the 11th time in his past 12 films. Its an interesting story with some decent twists and better than average dialouge. This is just a very good movie with something for almost everybody.


Two Men Went to War, 2002
5/10, 32nd best of 2002, 220th best of the 2000's, 671st all time
A war comedey from England, Two Men Went to War is based on the true story of two British dentists who invaded Germany with pistols and grenades months before the invasion of Normandy, and acctually lived to tell about it. The movie was allright, and actually had some pretty funny moments. However, the movie certainly had its faults. The actor playing the young soilder played him a little two goofey and stupid, the older soilder was played quite a bit better. Overall this movie was just okay. If it sounds like something you'd like, you'll probobly think its all right, if it sounds like you wouldn't like it, you probobly won't.


A Sound of Thunder, 2005
3/10, 47th of 2005, 338th of the 2000's, 1021st all time
Its probobly a good idea to tell you that that 47th puts it in dead last for its year. This just wasn't a good movie. Let me assure you that I went into this movie wanting to enjoy it. Now, this movie requires a tremendous amount of suspended disbelief just to not want to kill yourself while watching it. And I did my best to suspend my disbelief. Going in I know that the plot of this movie was that a man goes back in time, steps on one butterfly, and changes the chorse of evolution completely so that not a single plant or animal species anywhere on earth stays the same. I was fine with that. However, this movie also gets harder to believe because it quite simply has the worst graphics I have ever seen in a major motion picture... ever. After seeing the graphics I assumed that this movie was made for about 20 million dollars, it wasn't, they spent nearly 80 million dollars on this movies.... I really have no idea where it could have possibilly went. I have friends who could have created better graphics on their home PCs than are in this movie. This movie has a plot that I was intruiged by, actors I like (Ben Kingsly/Sam Rockwell) and is in a genre where I ussually reasonabally enjoy movies eithers might hate (action/sci fi hybrid). Yet even I could only stomach giving it a 3/10. If anyone else was to give this movie a 1/10 I certainly couldn't blame them.


Upcoming Rankings:
Cane Toads: An Unnatural History, 1988
Run Ronnie Run, 2002
Hostel, 2006
Deep Blue, 2003
The Omega Man, 1971