For the first year and a half I knew Zach I thought he was a house plant

That's right, I've known Zach for about 2 years now, and I only recently discovered that he was a human being. I had been convinced that he was some form of house plant, most likely a ficus. Perhaps its his complete lack of personality or substance that had me fooled. I merely thought him another object that previous dwellers of my appartment building had left behind. I have to say learning he was a human being really hurt his standing in my eyes. Before I was at least impressed by his abilaty to survive without me watering him very often. Now... he doesn't even have that.