Movie Reviews/Rankings
Now while I sit watching Turner and Hooch on TBS seems like as good of a time as any to review my next set of movies.
Hurcules in New York, 1970
2/10, Worst movie of 1970, Second worst of the 1970's, 1214th overall
I didn't acctually see this movie recently. However I did see it back in Jr. High. Recently while looking at imdb.com's "100 worst movies of all time" I saw it and realized I hadn't ranked it yet. Let me assure you it is on that list for a reason. It is not a good movie, or even an adequate movie. Here are the only reasons I can recall that would make it worth watching. Aarnold Swarzenager stars in it, but they dub his voice to make him sound American, which is especially awsome since he's Hurcules who would have been Greek. Also this movie had a gorilla in it who was VERY VERY clearly just a man in a gorilla suit... that was fairly awsome. Anyway, those are pretty much the high points of the movie. I gave this movie a two becuse it never made me want to kill my self... but its still very, very bad.
The Benchwarmers, 2006
6/10, 5th out of 6 movies for 2006, 196th in the 2000's, 590th overall
I probobly shouldn't have liked this movie... I did anyway. John Heder is halarious. David Spade is funnier than you might expect, and Rob Schnider is in it too. The plot is rediculous, the acting is sub par, but who cares... it's funny. Is this movie gonna change your life? No. Is it a decent way to kill an hour and half, yes. It's not anything special, but it's pretty alright.
United 93, 2006
6/10, 4th out of 6 movies for 2006, 150th of the 2000's, 450th overall
This film was very powerful, very moving, very emotional and very well made... but it wasn't really a movie. It is (to my knowledge) a very direct portrayl of the events of September 11th. Much of the first hour of the movie takes place not on the plane, but in air-traffic control rooms on the east coast, as they figure out that these attacks are taking place. The second half of this movie was very powerful. I was very moved watching the people on the plane as they knew that they were likely to die soon, as I think most people who remember September 11th would be. That being said, the first half of the movie was pretty darn boring. I think that the thing is, this isn't really a movie. There aren't really characters, or a plot, or dialouge. Their more just trying to show something that happened in the most direct way possible. That being said I'd still reccommend seeing it once in your life.
The New World, 2005
3/10, Second worst movie of 2005, 1028th overall
I didn't like this movie. Let's start with this fact. I have a history degree from a fully acredited university. I know quite a bit about the history of the United States. I know several names and important dates in regaurds to John Smith, the pilgrims, and the founding of British colonies in the United States, and I still rarely had any idea what the hell was going on most of the time. For one thing, they never use names for any of the characters. Also, the characters have realistically thick accents, which is good for reasons of authenticity, but I could understand nearlly half of the dialouge. Also it was over 2 and a half hours long and extremely boring. This is all very unfortunate because it was one of the most beautiful movies I have ever seen. Unfortunatelly all the beautiful scenary in the world can't make this movie better than a three out of ten.
Casanova, 2005
6/10, 26th best movie of 2005, 193rd of the 2000's, 587th overall
I enjoyed this movie quite a bit. I think one of the reasons I enjoyed it so much was because I watched it after having the previously day watched United 93 and The New World. Unlike those two movies, Casanova is a movie that realizes its a movie. It works to establish plots and characters, and motivations, and settings, and you know... the things that make up a movie. Many movies fail when they try to do too much. This one does a good amount, just what it needs to do, no more, no less. This movie had some fairly interesting scenes, was occasionally pretty funny, and basically enjoyable. If I had to some up this movie in a single word I would have to use the word "charming". I'd reccommend it, but try not to get your hopes too high.
Upcoming Reviews:
X-Men 3: The Last Stand, 2006
Fun with Dick and Jane, 2005
The Breakup, 2006
Africa: The Serengeti, 1994
16 Blocks, 2006
Hurcules in New York, 1970
2/10, Worst movie of 1970, Second worst of the 1970's, 1214th overall
I didn't acctually see this movie recently. However I did see it back in Jr. High. Recently while looking at imdb.com's "100 worst movies of all time" I saw it and realized I hadn't ranked it yet. Let me assure you it is on that list for a reason. It is not a good movie, or even an adequate movie. Here are the only reasons I can recall that would make it worth watching. Aarnold Swarzenager stars in it, but they dub his voice to make him sound American, which is especially awsome since he's Hurcules who would have been Greek. Also this movie had a gorilla in it who was VERY VERY clearly just a man in a gorilla suit... that was fairly awsome. Anyway, those are pretty much the high points of the movie. I gave this movie a two becuse it never made me want to kill my self... but its still very, very bad.
The Benchwarmers, 2006
6/10, 5th out of 6 movies for 2006, 196th in the 2000's, 590th overall
I probobly shouldn't have liked this movie... I did anyway. John Heder is halarious. David Spade is funnier than you might expect, and Rob Schnider is in it too. The plot is rediculous, the acting is sub par, but who cares... it's funny. Is this movie gonna change your life? No. Is it a decent way to kill an hour and half, yes. It's not anything special, but it's pretty alright.
United 93, 2006
6/10, 4th out of 6 movies for 2006, 150th of the 2000's, 450th overall
This film was very powerful, very moving, very emotional and very well made... but it wasn't really a movie. It is (to my knowledge) a very direct portrayl of the events of September 11th. Much of the first hour of the movie takes place not on the plane, but in air-traffic control rooms on the east coast, as they figure out that these attacks are taking place. The second half of this movie was very powerful. I was very moved watching the people on the plane as they knew that they were likely to die soon, as I think most people who remember September 11th would be. That being said, the first half of the movie was pretty darn boring. I think that the thing is, this isn't really a movie. There aren't really characters, or a plot, or dialouge. Their more just trying to show something that happened in the most direct way possible. That being said I'd still reccommend seeing it once in your life.
The New World, 2005
3/10, Second worst movie of 2005, 1028th overall
I didn't like this movie. Let's start with this fact. I have a history degree from a fully acredited university. I know quite a bit about the history of the United States. I know several names and important dates in regaurds to John Smith, the pilgrims, and the founding of British colonies in the United States, and I still rarely had any idea what the hell was going on most of the time. For one thing, they never use names for any of the characters. Also, the characters have realistically thick accents, which is good for reasons of authenticity, but I could understand nearlly half of the dialouge. Also it was over 2 and a half hours long and extremely boring. This is all very unfortunate because it was one of the most beautiful movies I have ever seen. Unfortunatelly all the beautiful scenary in the world can't make this movie better than a three out of ten.
Casanova, 2005
6/10, 26th best movie of 2005, 193rd of the 2000's, 587th overall
I enjoyed this movie quite a bit. I think one of the reasons I enjoyed it so much was because I watched it after having the previously day watched United 93 and The New World. Unlike those two movies, Casanova is a movie that realizes its a movie. It works to establish plots and characters, and motivations, and settings, and you know... the things that make up a movie. Many movies fail when they try to do too much. This one does a good amount, just what it needs to do, no more, no less. This movie had some fairly interesting scenes, was occasionally pretty funny, and basically enjoyable. If I had to some up this movie in a single word I would have to use the word "charming". I'd reccommend it, but try not to get your hopes too high.
Upcoming Reviews:
X-Men 3: The Last Stand, 2006
Fun with Dick and Jane, 2005
The Breakup, 2006
Africa: The Serengeti, 1994
16 Blocks, 2006
posted by Blake Stockdale at 11:20 PM
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